I got chris browned last night
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
