it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
