Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
