wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize