Did you just see the Batmobile???
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
