I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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