gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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