i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
You left your phone here
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