Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Randomize
