Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
