I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
