I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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