Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
