i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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