I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
