We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
