She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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