That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize