seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
