It's like a parade of train wrecks.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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