the condom got lost in my hair
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
sarcasm needs its own font
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
