woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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