They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
