Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
