if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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