sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
