she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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