HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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