She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
