i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
