im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
