You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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