Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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