distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
