carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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