I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize