You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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