hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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