If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Go christen that room with your naked body.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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