He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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