i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
