I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
