Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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