ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
