In the future we'll all be gay
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
