Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
