I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
