Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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