he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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