Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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