The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm way too hungover for life right now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
