i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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