Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
how does that bad decision feel?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
