i think my mom watched the whole time
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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