whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
