Too much gin, very little bucket
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
