Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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