ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
