So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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