Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Hippo gnu deer
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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