She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
