Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize