There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
