it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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