Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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