As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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