all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
