It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
