So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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