im about as happy as oj after his trial
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
