EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
