Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
