Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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