holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just found puke in my bra..
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
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