"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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