Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize