they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
